Cody: <link to DIY slideshow for fixing a fridge that leaks>

Me: is there a dyi for enlarging it to a regular size?

Cody: Funny, I receive lots of emails about that. None for fridges though.

Me: omg

And now, I've laughed so hard my head hurts.

LJ tells me I last updated 23 weeks ago. Surely there has been something going on.

Oh, yeah, Facebook.

( Read more... )

Long time, no blog.  Yep.  See below.

( Things I want for x-mas: )
There's also this...
( Recent experiences... )That's it for now.  Gotta work or something.

So I'm posting this from work.  I have a certain amount of time every week/month that I can use the county computer for personal use.  So here goes.

I'm heading out to see the mayor soon.  Next week actually.  C and I are going on the 16th and coming back really late on the 20th.  I left Tuesday open for recovery or futher travel in case something goes wrong.  Here's to positive thinking.

Lizzy (see picture) has an incredible case of Inflammatory Bowel Disease.  Apparently, her guts don't like certain proteins and they protest and then she either vomits or emits soft serve from the other end.  She now weighs in at around 5 pounds and is on predisolone and a duck/green pea diet.  She's pretty much eating and pooping.  Man-sized poop.  Her poop is bigger than she is.  I want her guts to straighten out so she'll start absorbing more nutrients and her pooh will be smaller.  Seriously.  The steroid makes her thirsty so she is also drinking and peeing a lot.  At least she uses the box for that.

Prozac is huge.  He's packing on pounds for the winter.  He is a solid chunk of feline that wants to eat all the time (kind of like Lizzy, but he walks away when he's done).  He's also pretty excitable and wants to play.  Love the feather on the string.  Maybe Mike can make cat toys for entertainment purposes only.  Or even for exercise for a large feline.  He needs to be chased or be allowed to chase squirrels. 

I want a house.  C says I'm house-horny which I probably am.  But I'm so tired of having to step around things, rearrange things so I can get closer or farther away from something, reach over stuff to open windows.  I'm ready for more space.  I'm ready to spread out, put a cat door in and let it all go.

That is all.  For now.

So here's what's been going on around here. 

1. July 4th was fun.  Was interesting to find out that once you go to Harrisburg, you can never leave.  Much like Hotel California.

2. Figured out that Lizzy has an allergy to grain.  Much like Cody.  Makes her cranky and breaks her out in a rash.  But also makes her vomit.

3. Country Fair is still full of freaks.  Topless, dirty, fun-loving, drug-smoking freaks.  And it was hot.

4. The Sunday night/Monday morning following our trip to OCF, the hose connecting the main valve to our sink popped off and flooded our downstairs neighbors.  All of them.  Two floors.  To the basement.
5. The county lost power to half the building (my half) and I had to work in a classroom surrounded by several other departments working on lots of projects.  I got to sit right next to my auditor.  It was really hard not to look at what she was writing when she was going through my work.  It really sucked.  You don't realize how much you take for granted your space until it's gone.

6. It's hot.  Damn it's hot.  I know it's not a reasonable request because 90% of the year it's beautiful here, but I want A/C in my house.  C and I are looking at maybe applying for a mortgage eventually.  I'm tired of worrying about being evicted for having pets and for paying someone else to own my home.  I'm an adult.  I should be looking at my future and there is a lot of money that I've given other people to be responsible.  It's my turn.

7. I've been getting up at 6:30 everyday (Including Saturdays) to drive across town and feed my cats.  I love my cats.  Love them.  They are my responsibility and I am extremely grateful to R&E for housing them during this stressful time.  But, I'm so tired of being up that early.  This morning after feeding them I went and did laundry.  No one is at the laundromat at 7:30am.  No one but me.

8. All my money belongs to the food gods. 8 of 10 purchases go to some source of food.

9. I need a haircut really bad.  My hair person quit and I don't know how to get a hold of her.  I got a cut from someone else, but it wasn't the same.  I'm afraid I'm going to end up bald eventually.

10. . I'm tired.  Going to nap.

You know how I know (besides being her daughter)? 

She's at a Stone Temple Pilots concert right now.

No lie.

Mayor Mom is the coolest.

Today, I hate my job.  Not yesterday or last week which were really trying, but today. 

Today I was slammed from people I don't even know.  Pointing out my errors (or perceived errors) by bitching to my department director, not my boss or me, but the department director.  I was bitched at and corrected, but never consulted.  I received email after email of "you should've done it this way" with no real constructive points information.  No clarifying questions of why I used the language I did (approved language, by the way). 

I spent most of the day trying to clean up last weeks melee of crap from the layoffs and the bumping.  It really sucks when you have to fix the same person 15 times because things keep changing or you straight up make a mistake.  I'm not sure how many reams of paper I've gone through in the last week, but I'm sure it's enough to supply a small country.

I asked for information and received an answer that didn't apply to my question.  Was at least about a similar subject, but did you read the email?  Seriously.

Tequila, anyone?

If you ever thought about getting me something, but just didn't know what I would like, here's a quick video.  I'm particularly fond of...well, all of them, but I really like penguins at x-mas...enjoy!

Amateur bartender ever!  I won a big, shiny, gold cup and a "bonny boy liquor dispenser".  You press a button and he pisses liquor.

I rock.

Now to sleep.

This is will probably end up being a lengthy post.  I'm waiting for my itunes to sync with computer so I have some decent music on the plane to Hawaii.  That's right Hawaii.

Let's see...





I think I finally found some food that Lizzy can eat, keep down, and doesn't turn her poo to softserv.

Zac is still fat.

We're going out of town for a little while...(a week to Hawaii!!!), and again I need a favor.  The kittens need feeding.  So if anyone is available to do a little kitty sitting from the 19 thru the 25 of May, I promise to bring you back something island-like from the islands.  And I just might take requests.  Because Lizzy is apparently allergic to grains, they do need fed twice a day.  Otherwise, she inhales everything and vomits, or the fat one gets fatter.  We can put clean sheets on the bed if you just want to crash here too.

(Seriously, thanks M & C for feeding them over the weekend.  I really, really appreciate it.)

In the lighter side of news, my mom was here for a week.  Thanks to everyone who made it to my birthday party.  I have pics and a few odd pieces from that night and some great memories.  Followed by my mom sharking some people at the Duck Inn the next night, Mama Mia at the Hult on Thursday, three crazy days through the Redwoods and up the coast hitting every casino out there and a final quiet evening at Horsehead to celebrate cinco de mayo.  I have to rest up for my vacation.

Unfortunately, the mayor's flight has been delayed.  I'm not sure when she's going to arrive.  Could be this afternoon or very late tonight.  Makes for a very long day for both of us.  We're hoping she gets a connecting flight from Dever to Portland at a decent time, but...good chance she'll be hitching a ride on a shuttle at midnight.

Either way, it's the day after my bday and I'm starting the year with lots of sugar.

Okay, so I answered an ad for portfolio models.  I met the photographer today and we discussed possible ideas for a photo shoot.  And I'm stumped.  She's looking for "provocative" and I'm not sure what that looks like.  I'm also pretty sure I don't have the required clothing/fishnet stockings...

So here's my challenge to you:

1.  What does provocative look like to you?

...and

2.  Can I borrow your clothes for that?

Seriously.  I have one thing in mind and that involves a wig and pearls.  Otherwise, I'm out.  The sample model shots I saw were red lace cat suits and black net cat suits with nothing else...besides the huge boa constrictor and the riding crop.

Give me some ideas people.  And some sassy attitude...

I'm laying off the birth control for a few weeks/months.  I've been on it since the lap two years ago and it's kind of killing my emotions.  So I quit taking it a month ago.  I have a girlie appointment next month, figured I'd talk to them about alternatives to alternatives to alternatives...and dieticians.

Crissy's wedding plans are coming along.  Mike and I had a great time with the "gah" face at the printers today.  I did find a place online that seemed relatively cheap, but we'll see.  I figure if we get those things printed up, cut and stuffed in the next two weeks or so, we'll be golden.  Then it's figuring out bridal shower stuff, bachelorette stuff, favors, dresses, finalizing decorations and burning cds.

I also rearranged the furniture in our apt a few weeks ago.  It's taken a few weeks, but I'm finally happy with how everything is looking.  The cats seem to finally have stopped vomiting every day so I get to thoroughly vaccuum again.  Yeah.  All that's left in my nesting plans is to move the tv screen, get the frame set for that, hang the pics and sort the crap.  Oh, but the sorting of the crap...sigh.  Good thing I quit LB.  Gonna need that time.

Today was a holiday.  Thank Jeebus.  This week will be short at work and I had 7 jobs open.  Tomorrow will suck giant donkey gobs.  And I have a dentist appt on Wednesday morning which cuts more precious time out of my week.  I'm never going to accumulate all the hours I need for my summer vacation.  I will, but it seems like never.  And it's budget time at the county which always leads to the fear of layoffs.  Blech.

That is all.  Gonna go sort yarn.

I gave my two weeks notice at Lane Bryant.

Discusssssssss.

I was moving a suitcase of old recipe books that I bought at a family auction when I was 8 and found the following article tucked in the front of a "Culinary Arts Institute" book that looks like it might be about 40 years old.  Yes I have a suitcase full of recipe books.  No, I haven't categorized or even looked at them in 10 years.  Sigh.  Might have found this earlier...

"How to Tell Whether You Are A Democrat or A Republican"
With voter registration taking place, many persons are perturbed that they had to declare their political party. of course, one had to call for either a Republican or Democratic ballot at the primary elections, and in this way went on record as to his political choice. There are other ways to tell a Republican from a Democrat without going to the both ero checking registrations. In order to clarify the matter the following difference should be noted.

• Democrats buy most of the books that are banned somewhere.  Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
• Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less fortunate.  Republicans wear theirs.
• Republicans employ exterminators.  Democrats step on bugs.
• Democrats keep trying to quit smoking but are not successful.  Neither are Republicans.
• Republicans keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should.  Democrats ought to, but don't.
• Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.  Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
• Most of the stuff you see alongside the road has been thrown out of the car windows by Democrats.  Republicans give their  to their relatives.
• Republican boys date Democrat girls.  They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they are entitled to a little fun first.
• Democrats plan, and then do something else.  Republicans do what their grandfathers did. 
• Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms.  That's why there are more Democrats.

We rust that this has helped those who have not made a choice to do so.
-Independence, KS Reporter

I'm not saying that I agree with any of this, but I sure found it amusing.

Surprise!

You may recognize one or two of the elves...but it's funny anyway...